FFIX: Tower of Terror
by Bankotsubo
Summary: It's Halloween - and time to poop your pants. In "Burmecian Wererat" Freya turns into a werewolf-type creature. In "Quzilla" Lindblum is under attack from a giant Quina. And in "The Merge" Zidane stumbles through a vortex and then enters the world of Fina
1. FFIX: Burmecian Wererat

DISCLAIMER: FFIX and all its related characters are the property of Squaresoft.  
  
  
FFIX: Tower of Terror  
  
EXT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - EVENING  
  
ZIDANE, DAGGER, VIVI AND EIKO are all hanging out on the balcony of the West Tower.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Man, I love Halloween!"  
  
VIVI  
"M-Me too! I love scary stuff!"  
  
EIKO  
"So, Zidane, are you gonna tell us another spooky story?!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Heh, you don't even need to ask, Eiko!"  
  
DAGGER  
"Go for it, Zidane!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Alright. Listen up, and listen good. Cause my first story tonight is SO scary, that you'll need to be immune to fear to hear it."  
  
EIKO  
"Yay! I can't wait!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"My first tale tonight is called 'Burmecian Wererat.'"  
  
DAGGER  
"Hmm, interesting..."  
  
_______________________________________________________________________  
_______________________________________________________________________  
  
  
FFIX: Burmecian Wererat  
  
EXT. WORLD MAP - EVENING  
  
The INVINCIBLE is flying through the dark sky near Burmecia.  
  
INT. INVINCIBLE - EVENING  
  
ZIDANE, DAGGER, STEINER, VIVI AND EIKO are all on the bridge of the ship. Dagger is at the main controls.  
  
EIKO  
"I still can't believe we beat those evil goblins and escaped with our lives."  
  
ZIDANE  
"Oh, it was worth it to get back our Oglop Cereal!"  
  
Zidane holds up a box and pours some of its contents into a breakfast bowl.  
  
ZIDANE  
(Singing)  
"Oglop Cereal, those crunchy, grainy oats of wheat! I love to eat them, cause they're so sweet!"  
  
DAGGER  
"Hmm, the sky is a little misty tonight. I think I better pull over just to be on the safe side."  
  
STEINER  
"A brilliant idea, Princess."  
  
EXT. WORLD MAP - EVENING  
  
The Invincible descends towards the ground.  
  
INT. INVINCIBLE - EVENING  
  
Dagger prepares to land, when all of a sudden the party hear a loud thump.  
  
DAGGER  
"Oh, goodness! Have we hit something?"  
  
Steiner looks out the window.  
  
STEINER  
(Gulp)  
"This is not good..."  
  
DAGGER  
"What?"  
  
STEINER  
(To himself)  
"Please, please just be an animal!"  
  
EXT. WORLD MAP - EVENING  
  
The party emerge from the Invincible. They look underneath the ship to see FREYA'S battered body covered in blood.  
  
STEINER  
(Gasp)  
"It's Freya Crescent!"  
  
DAGGER  
"Oh my God! We killed Freya Crescent!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"You mean; you killed Freya Crescent!"  
  
Steiner pokes her body with his sword.  
  
STEINER  
"She's dead, alright."  
  
DAGGER  
(Panicing)  
"What are we gonna do?!"  
  
STEINER  
"We must hide the body so that no one will ever find it ever again."  
  
EIKO  
"Isn't that a little wrong?"  
  
VIVI  
"I'd say VERY wrong!"  
  
STEINER  
"We cannot allow the princess to suffer because of this terrible accident. We have to protect her."  
  
ZIDANE  
"Don't worry! You just let old Zidane handle this!"  
  
DAGGER  
"No, Zidane, it's my problem, so-"  
  
ZIDANE  
(Interrupting)  
"I said I'll handle it!"  
  
Dagger and Steiner shrug.  
  
EXT. BURMECIA - NIGHT  
  
Zidane is on the rooftop of an old house, with Freya's body in his arms. SIR FRATLEY emerges from the house and calls to them.  
  
FRATLEY  
"Freya, darling! What are you doing up there?"  
  
ZIDANE  
(Impersonating Freya)  
"Oh, I'm just helping my dear friend; Zidane. We're cleaning the chimney together."  
  
FRATLEY  
"Well, come on down, you silly woman. It's too windy to be out tonight."  
  
ZIDANE  
(Impersonating Freya)  
"I'm coming!"  
  
Fratley walks back into the house.  
  
ZIDANE  
(Impersonating Freya)  
"Oh, it sure is slippery up here!"  
  
He throws Freya's body off the roof.  
  
ZIDANE  
(Impersonating Freya)  
"Whoops! I fell!"  
  
Zidane looks around for Fratley, but he's gone.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Dang! He missed it!"  
  
INT. FREYA'S HOUSE - NIGHT  
  
Zidane pushes the door open and carries Freya's body inside.  
  
ZIDANE  
(Impersonating Freya)  
"Fratley, I'm home! Oh, no! I think I'm having a heart attack!"  
  
He throws Freya's body on the floor and leaves the house.  
  
EXT. BURMECIA - NIGHT  
  
Zidane begins to leave the town, when he hears Fratley scream.  
  
FRATLEY (O.S)  
"Freya! No!"  
  
ZIDANE  
(To himself)  
"Heh-heh-heh! And THAT is THAT!"  
  
EXT. BURMECIA - NEXT DAY  
  
Zidane, Steiner, Dagger, Vivi and Eiko all walk into the town.  
  
INT. BURMECIAN CHURCH - DAY  
  
Zidane, Steiner, Dagger, Vivi and Eiko all walk into the church.  
  
ZIDANE  
(Quietly)  
"Try not to act too sad. It'll just cause suspicion."  
  
They all walk to their seats with big smiles on their faces. The KING OF BURMECIA is stood at the front of the church.  
  
KING OF BURMECIA  
"And now, Freya's closest friend, Zidane Tribal, would like to give a few words."  
  
Zidane walks to the front of the church.  
  
ZIDANE  
"When I think about Freya, I can't help but remember the look on her face when Dagger hit her with the-"  
  
DAGGER (O.S)  
(Interrupting)  
"Shh! Shh!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Oh, I mean, Freya Crescent was a brilliant person. She loved her dear Fratley, and she never stopped talking about him. Just like the relationship I have with Dagger; they had a partnership that was based on pure love."  
  
KING OF BURMECIA  
"Thank you, Zidane. That was beautiful."  
  
ZIDANE  
"Don't mention it, Your Majesty. I'd do anything for Dagger."  
  
KING OF BURMECIA  
"Excuse me?"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Freya. I'd do anything for Freya."  
  
KING OF BURMECIA  
"Oh, thank you."  
  
INT. INVINCIBLE - DAY  
  
Zidane, Steiner, Dagger, Vivi and Eiko are all on the bridge. Zidane is at the main controls.  
  
ZIDANE  
"I can't believe we got away with murder! You know, I've never liked that fat-ass Queen Brahne..."  
  
DAGGER  
"No, Zidane! We can't go off killing our friends and family! It's just not right!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Aw, but you got to kill Freya!"  
  
DAGGER  
"That was an accident!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Says you!"  
  
EXT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - DAY  
  
Zidane, Steiner, Dagger, Vivi and Freya all walk towards the castle.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Well, I'm gonna take a bath. Wanna join me, Dagger?"  
  
DAGGER  
"I suppose it couldn't hurt. Today has been very trying on us all."  
  
They stop dead in their tracks when they reach the castle doors. Someone has written, "I KNOW WHAT YOU DID" all over them.  
  
DAGGER  
(Gasp)  
"Someone saw us!"  
  
STEINER  
"But who?!"  
  
They all turn around to see GENERAL BEATRIX, PUCK AND RUBY.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Look, I know what you're all thinking, but Dagger didn't kill Freya, alright?"  
  
PUCK  
"Uh, actually, I'm just here to see Vivi."  
  
RUBY  
"I'm lookin' fer Blank. Y'seen him?"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Go away! All of you!"  
  
INT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - EVENING  
  
Zidane, Steiner, Dagger, Vivi and Eiko are all sat at the dinning room table.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Ah, I wonder what Quina's cookin' for dinner tonight? Something spicy I hope!"  
  
Just then, they hear a knock on the doors.  
  
DAGGER  
"Who could be calling at this hour?"  
  
STEINER  
"Stay here, Princess. I'll go and check."  
  
Steiner gets up and leaves the table.  
  
INT. HALLWAY - EVENING  
  
Steiner walks towards the main doors.  
  
STEINER  
"Who's there?"  
  
VOICE (O.S)  
"I know yer all alone in there."  
  
STEINER  
"Who are you?!"  
  
VOICE (O.S)  
"Is this... Sir Fratley?"  
  
STEINER  
"No! I am Adelbert Steiner!"  
  
VOICE (O.S)  
"Oh, sorry, Rusty. It's Baku, I must be at the wrong address. I heard Fratley was stayin' here."  
  
STEINER  
"Well, he's not. He's back in Burmecia."  
  
BAKU (O.S)  
"'Kay, thanks, Rusty!"  
  
Steiner walks back into the dinning room.  
  
INT. DINNING ROOM - EVENING  
  
Zidane, Dagger, Vivi and Eiko are all staring around the room at the walls and at the ceiling. Steiner walks in.  
  
STEINER  
"What happened? What are you staring-"  
  
Steiner's jaw drops. The message "I KNOW WHAT YOU DID" is written everywhere inside the room.  
  
STEINER  
"What the...?"  
  
ZIDANE  
"We definitely need a new cleaner..."  
  
Someone emerges from the shadows, holding a knife in their right hand. The party scream and run out of the room.  
  
EXT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - EVENING  
  
The party burst out of the castle doors.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Quick! To the Invincible!"  
  
EIKO  
"...Why?"  
  
VIVI  
"Yeah, why are we running?"  
  
ZIDANE  
"D'uh! It's easier this way!"  
  
INT. INVINCIBLE - EVENING  
  
Everyone is assembled on the bridge. Zidane powers up the engine.  
  
EXT. WORLD MAP - EVENING  
  
The Invincible flies out of Alexandria.  
  
INT. INVINCIBLE - EVENING  
  
Zidane is at the main controls, while the rest of the party are behind him.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Okay, God, if you really are a god, then you'll save my life!"  
  
Zidane looks down at the fuel supply. The needle shoots down to empty.  
  
ZIDANE  
"D'oh!"  
  
EXT. WORLD MAP - EVENING  
  
The Invincible lands on the Alexandria Plateau. The party all climb out. Eiko looks back towards Alexandria.  
  
EIKO  
(Gasp)  
"Look! That creepy freak from the castle is gaining on us!"  
  
ZIDANE  
(Panicing)  
"Okay, Dagger, you go hide in the forest. Steiner, take Eiko and Vivi to the edge of the earth, and I'll go hide in the moat where those teenage girls mysteriously disappeared last August. Now, Freya, you can-"  
  
Everyone screams as they see Freya is standing beside them.  
  
DAGGER  
"Freya?! B-But you're dead?!"  
  
FREYA  
"Haha! You can't kill the undead, silly!"  
  
EIKO  
"Are you a zombie?"  
  
FREYA  
"Oh, I wish! No, it all started just last night..."  
  
EXT. WORLD MAP - FLASHBACK  
  
Freya is running through the country towards Burmecia.  
  
FREYA (V.O)  
"...I was on my way back home from Lindblum."  
  
FREYA  
"I'm almost home. I've missed Burmecia so much."  
  
Suddenly, a bandersnatch jumps out of nowhere, pushes Freya into the bushes and attacks her.  
  
FREYA (O.S)  
"Ow, get off me! Yeow, you ripped my pants!"  
  
Freya crawls out from the bushes. Her clothes are ripped and she is bleeding. She then turns into a wolf-like creature, and growls.  
  
ZIDANE (O.S)  
(Singing)  
"Oglop Cereal, those crunchy, grainy oats of wheat! I love to eat them, cause they're so sweet!"  
  
DAGGER (O.S)  
"Hmm, the sky is a little misty tonight. I think I better pull over just to be on the safe side."  
  
The Invincible lands on Freya. She squeals in pain.  
  
EXT. WORLD MAP - (REALITY)  
  
The party are very impressed.  
  
ZIDANE  
"So, we killed you, and now you're a werewolf?"  
  
FREYA  
"Well, I'm more of a wererat..."  
  
They all laugh. The moon comes out and Freya begins to transform.  
  
ZIDANE  
(Indicating Freya)  
"Hey, look! Isn't that cool?!"  
  
EIKO  
"Ew! Gruesome!"  
  
Freya has now completely transformed. She has many wolf-like features, and huge teeth. She snarls at the party, and some foam from her mouth hits Zidane.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Hey, I want the news, not the weather, wolfie!"  
  
Zidane laughs.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Hey, Dagger, did you see me talk back at Wererat Freya?"  
  
Zidane turns around to see Dagger, Steiner, Vivi and Eiko all running away into the distance.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Oh, crap!"  
  
Zidane runs off too, but Freya gives chase. She leaps upon him and starts to tear him apart.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Ow! Ow, ow, ow! Heh-heh, eyes bigger than your belly, huh, Freya? Ow!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
THE END  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	2. FFIX: Quzilla

  
  
  
  
  
EXT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - EVENING  
  
Zidane, Dagger, Vivi and Eiko are still out on the balcony of the West Tower.  
  
EIKO  
"Wow! What a great story, Zidane!"  
  
VIVI  
"Y-Yeah, but... it wasn't really THAT scary."  
  
ZIDANE  
(To Vivi)  
"Okay, okay, so you think you can do better?!"  
  
VIVI  
"I-I'll try. I call this story 'Quzilla.'"  
  
ZIDANE  
(Sarcastically)  
"This ought to be good for a laugh!"  
  
_______________________________________________________________________  
_______________________________________________________________________  
  
  
FFIX: Quzilla  
  
EXT. BLUE NARCISS - DAY  
  
BLANK, DAGGER, REGENT CID AND MINISTER ARTANIA are all on-board the bridge.  
  
DAGGER  
"Wow! This is so exciting, Uncle Cid! I've never been to Vile Island before! I bet it's really great there, huh?!"  
  
CID  
(Laughs)  
"It's like paradise on earth, my dear."  
  
DAGGER  
"Well, I'm just gonna get some stuff from my cabin. I'll be right back."  
  
She runs off.  
  
ARTANIA  
"Don't you think you should have told her the truth, Regent?"  
  
CID  
"The truth?"  
  
ARTANIA  
"You know, the REAL reason why we're taking her to Vile Island..."  
  
CID  
"Oh, you're talking about my plan to use Princess Garnet as bait to lure the giant monster, Quzilla, into my palm?"  
  
ARTANIA  
"...Yes. That plan."  
  
CID  
"Do I look stupid? She would never had agreed to come if I had told her the real reason."  
  
ARTANIA  
"You're a very clever man, Regent."  
  
BLANK (O.S)  
"Regent Cid, we're almost there!"  
  
CID  
"Excellent!"  
  
EXT. VILE ISLAND - DAY  
  
Regent Cid, Artania and Dagger all get off the boat and walk onto the beach.  
  
DAGGER  
"Whoa! This place is awesome!"  
  
CID  
"Don't go wandering off alone, Garnet. This island is inhabited by evil creatures called the Yan. They're extremely territorial, and won't think twice about attacking with powerful magic."  
  
DAGGER  
"Have no fear, Uncle Cid. I'll not go anywhere without your permission."  
  
CID  
"Follow me, everyone."  
  
They walk off into the jungle.  
  
EXT. VILE ISLAND FOREST - DAY  
  
Regent Cid, Artania and Dagger all walk into an open space in the jungle.  
  
CID  
"Artania, you know what to do."  
  
ARTANIA  
"Y-Yes, Regent."  
  
Artania pulls out a length of rope and ties Dagger up.  
  
DAGGER  
"Huh? Uncle Cid, what's going on?!"  
  
CID  
"I'm sorry, Garnet. But this was the only way."  
  
DAGGER  
"What are you talking about?!"  
  
CID  
"You see, Garnet, you're going to be used as bait to attract our monster."  
  
DAGGER  
"Monster?!"  
  
CID  
"Have you ever heard of Quzilla?"  
  
DAGGER  
"The giant Qu that lives on Vile Island?!"  
  
CID  
"...Yes, how did you know it lived here?"  
  
DAGGER  
"Uncle Cid, please! Untie me this instant!"  
  
CID  
(Ignoring her)  
"Artania, the pole."  
  
Artania ties Dagger to a wooden pole which has been set up on the ground.  
  
DAGGER  
(Struggling)  
"Lemme go, you scum bag!"  
  
Once Dagger is securely tied, Artania backs off and joins Regent Cid.  
  
DAGGER  
"W-Where are you going?!"  
  
CID  
"We'll be hiding in the forest until our beast arrives. Ta!"  
  
They both run off into the forest.  
  
DAGGER  
"Wait! Wait!"  
  
VOICE (O.S)  
"I hungry! I smell yummy-yummies!"  
  
DAGGER  
"What the...?!"  
  
Dagger screams. A giant QUINA emerges from the forest. S/he looks down at his dinner.  
  
QUINA  
(To Dagger)  
"I like look of you! I enjoy this very much!"  
  
DAGGER  
(Panicing)  
"Uncle Cid! Help me!"  
  
CID (O.S)  
(Shouting)  
"Try to act dead!"  
  
QUINA  
"I pick you up now!"  
  
DAGGER  
"Get away from me! Don't touch me!"  
  
Quina unties Dagger and lifts her up into the air.  
  
DAGGER  
"Ahh! Don't eat me!"  
  
QUINA  
"Eat? Eat?! I no eat you! I in love!"  
  
DAGGER  
"Wha...?! Argh!"  
  
CID (O.S)  
"Dammit! Quick, Artania, cast the Sleep spell."  
  
ARTANIA (O.S)  
"I'm not a magic user, Regent."  
  
CID (O.S)  
"Oh, yeah. Um, aw, hell, just use the item that causes sleep!"  
  
Artania runs out into the open and throws the item at Quina, who then falls to the ground.  
  
EXT. LINDBLUM - AFTERNOON  
  
Artania is walking through the Theatre District. He enters one of the big buildings.  
  
INT. LINDBLUM RESIDENCE - AFTERNOON  
  
There is a huge stage in the building. A large cage has been set up on the stage, which contains Quina. Regent Cid and Dagger are with it.  
  
DAGGER  
"Uncle Cid, I must ask. What do you plan to do with this creature?"  
  
CID  
"Doctor Tot wishes to examine Quzilla. He believes it may hold the answer to the past history of the Qu Clan."  
  
DAGGER  
"...'Kay."  
  
CID  
"Do you realise that this creature could bring an end to all wars and disease?!"  
  
DAGGER  
"That I did not know."  
  
Artania walks on stage.  
  
CID  
"Ah, Artania, my good man! Any sign of Doctor Tot?"  
  
ARTANIA  
"Not yet, Regent. But I'm sure he'll be here soon."  
  
CID  
"He better be!"  
  
QUINA  
(To Cid)  
"I no like it in here! You let I go, no?"  
  
CID  
"Sorry, Quzilla. I'm afraid you're not going anywhere."  
  
QUINA  
"Who Quzilla?! I Quina! Quina Quen!"  
  
CID  
"Quina Quen?! I've heard that one before!"  
  
QUINA  
"I serious! You unlock cage!"  
  
CID  
"Come along, Artania. We have work to do."  
  
Regent Cid and Artania leave. Dagger starts to follow.  
  
QUINA  
(To Dagger)  
"You-You wait!"  
  
DAGGER  
(Turns around)  
"Huh? Are you talking to me?"  
  
QUINA  
"Please unlock cage! I no like being trapped in here! Is too cramped!"  
  
DAGGER  
"Oh, geez, well I'd love to help you, Quzilla, but Uncle Cid would go mad if I let you out."  
  
QUINA  
"But I go mad if you don't!"  
  
DAGGER  
"Sorry..."  
  
Dagger walks away. Quina goes insane and breaks the entire cage.  
  
QUINA  
"I free! I free at last!"  
  
DAGGER (O.S)  
"Oh my God! Uncle Cid, come back here quickly!"  
  
Quina walks over to Dagger and picks her up. Regent Cid and Artania walk back into the building.  
  
DAGGER  
"Ahh! Not again!"  
  
CID  
"Good God! Garnet, hang on! We'll get you down! Artania, do something!"  
  
ARTANIA  
"Sorry, Regent, but we used up our last sleep induced item on Vile Island earlier."  
  
CID  
"...Then you're on your own, Garnet!"  
  
Regent Cid and Artania flee.  
  
DAGGER  
(Shouting)  
"Cowards!"  
  
EXT. LINDBLUM - AFTERNOON  
  
Some townspeople are walking the street, when Quina breaks through the rooftop of the building, with Dagger in his hand.  
  
RESIDENT #1  
"Argh! Run for your lives, everybody!"  
  
RESIDENT #2  
"Holy crap! It's Quzilla!"  
  
QUINA  
"No run! I no hurt you!"  
  
Everyone in town panic and then run off.  
  
DAGGER  
"Put me down, you hunk of meat!"  
  
QUINA  
"You only one who understand me! We go now!"  
  
DAGGER  
"No, you have to let me go!"  
  
Quina walks off down the street towards the castle.  
  
DAGGER  
"Give yourself up, Quzilla!"  
  
QUINA  
"I no do that. I escape, but I smell yummy-yummies over in big building over there! I eat them first!"  
  
DAGGER  
"You stupid idiot! You're gonna get yourself killed if you do that!"  
  
INT. LINDBLUM CASTLE - AFTERNOON  
  
Artania is looking out of the window. He can see Quina plodding towards him.  
  
ARTANIA  
"Regent, Quzilla is fast approaching!"  
  
Regent Cid appears behind him.  
  
CID  
"Aha! Just as I thought! S/he must have picked up the scent of our cafeteria!"  
  
ARTANIA  
"What now?"  
  
CID  
"I have my army of airships deployed at the dock! S/he'll walk right into my trap!"  
  
ARTANIA  
"Urgh..."  
  
EXT. LINDBLUM - AFTERNOON  
  
Quina has reached the castle.  
  
QUINA  
"Where yummy-yummies?!"  
  
DAGGER  
"There are none! Just give it up!"  
  
QUINA  
"I think they up there on roof! I go see!"  
  
DAGGER  
"What?! You can't climb the castle! It'll collapse!"  
  
Quina puts one hand on the castle and begins to climb to the top.  
  
DAGGER  
"This is madness!"  
  
Quina continues to climb, until an army of airships appear from out of the sky. They start to fire at Quina.  
  
QUINA  
"Aiya! It hurt!"  
  
DAGGER  
"Whoa! Whatever you do; don't let go!"  
  
Quina tries to climb up further, but s/he is hit in the head by an airship. S/he puts Dagger safely on a nearby ledge, then falls to the ground below.  
  
DAGGER  
"Woo, you don't see that everyday."  
  
EXT. LINDBLUM - AFTERNOON  
  
Quina is lying on the floor. Regent Cid, Artania and Dagger all appear beside him.  
  
DAGGER  
"Oh, my! Is s/he... dead?"  
  
CID  
"No, but s/he won't be going anywhere for a while."  
  
QUINA  
(Weakly)  
"I no feel so good..."  
  
DAGGER  
"Aw, don't worry, Quzilla. I'm here for you, and I always will be."  
  
CID/ARTANIA  
"What?!"  
  
DAGGER  
"...Hey, we got to spend a lot of time together, okay?!"  
  
QUINA  
(Weakly)  
"I so happy!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
THE END  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	3. FFIX: The Merge

  
  
  
  
  
EXT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - EVENING  
  
Zidane, Vivi and Eiko are out on the balcony of the West Tower. Dagger approaches with a tray of assorted food.  
  
DAGGER  
"Check it out, everyone. I managed to find all this tasty food lying around in the kitchen."  
  
ZIDANE  
"Oh, sweet! Do you have any soda?!"  
  
DAGGER  
"Sure, soda all 'round!"  
  
She gives each of her friends a drink.  
  
VIVI  
"So, there's still time for one more story. Eiko, do you wanna try?"  
  
EIKO  
"Alright, but I must warn you; this one is VERY spooky!"  
  
DAGGER  
(Sarcastically)  
"Oh, just like the last two, right?"  
  
EIKO  
"My story is called 'The Merge.' Bwahahahaha!"  
  
_______________________________________________________________________  
_______________________________________________________________________  
  
  
FFIX: The Merge  
  
INT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - MORNING  
  
ZIDANE is doing the laundry in the castle basement.  
  
ZIDANE  
(To himself)  
"Dammit! I hate laundry day! Nothin' but dirty old clothes and bad smellin' soap!"  
  
Zidane starts to scrub the laundry clean with a soap bar.  
  
ZIDANE  
(To himself)  
"I wish someone would invent some kinda machine that could make this job go quicker! I should talk to Regent Cid about it tomorrow..."  
  
Suddenly, a strange vortex opens up in the corner of the room. Zidane is amazed.  
  
ZIDANE  
"I'm amazed! What the hell is that thing?!"  
  
DAGGER (O.S)  
"Zidane, are you okay down there?"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Y-Yeah, I'm fine!"  
  
DAGGER (O.S)  
"When you've finished down there, can you come up here and help me give Mother a bath?"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Queen Brahne?! Bath?! Oh, that isn't good!"  
  
DAGGER (O.S)  
"Zidane?"  
  
ZIDANE  
(To himself)  
"Oooh, what should I do?!"  
  
DAGGER (O.S)  
"I'm coming down!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"What the hell...?"  
  
He jumps into the vortex.  
  
INT. VORTEX - MORNING  
  
Zidane is being sucked through time and space. He screams.  
  
EXT. ALCAULD PLAINS - DAY  
  
The vortex opens up in the sky and Zidane drops out onto the soft grass.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Holy crap! Where am I?!"  
  
He looks around the countryside. There is a small seaport town to his left, and to his right; a huge futuristic type building.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Is this the future?!"  
  
Just then, a BITE BUG flies right at him and tries to bite him.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Whoa! Get off me! Shoo! Piss off!"  
  
The Bite Bug doesn't go away.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Oh, I have to get to shelter!"  
  
INT. BALAMB GARDEN - DAY  
  
SQUALL, ZELL, RINOA, SELPHIE, IRVINE AND QUISTIS (all from FFVIII, as if you didn't know) are talking in the Main Hall.  
  
ZELL  
"Man, it sure is quiet here in the Garden today. I'm bored."  
  
RINOA  
"Don't you have to go to class, Zell?"  
  
ZELL  
"Um..."  
  
QUISTIS  
"Its a national holiday, Rinoa. There are no classes today."  
  
RINOA  
"Oh, yeah? What holiday?"  
  
QUISTIS  
"Uh... Monday Day..."  
  
RINOA  
"Monday Day...?"  
  
SELPHIE  
"Oooh, I love Monday Day!"  
  
SQUALL  
"...Whatever."  
  
IRVINE  
"Selphie, you and I were destined to be together."  
  
ZELL  
"Hey, who the hell is that little punk?!"  
  
The party turn around to see Zidane walking towards them.  
  
SQUALL  
"A midget! Quick, draw your weapons!"  
  
The party draw their weapons.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Hi, uh, I come in peace!"  
  
SQUALL  
"State your purpose!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Um... I fell out the sky..."  
  
ZELL  
"I don't trust him, Squall! Let's kill him!"  
  
ZIDANE  
(Noticing Selphie)  
"Wow! Well, hello, little lady!"  
  
SELPHIE  
"Are you talking to me?"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Man, I've never seen anyone as cute as you, baby. Wanna go for a little snack? I'll pay!"  
  
IRVINE  
"Alright, that does it! I'm gonna blast his brains out!"  
  
SELPHIE  
"No!"  
  
Selphie runs in front of Zidane.  
  
SELPHIE  
"I like him. He's funny."  
  
ZIDANE  
"Funny? Funny?! I've been called a lot of things, but funny isn't-"  
  
He notices Rinoa.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Oooh, hot, hot, hot!"  
  
RINOA  
"..."  
  
ZIDANE  
(To Rinoa)  
"Hey, gorgeous! Goin' my way?"  
  
SQUALL  
"...Geez, he's crackin' onto Rinoa now! He must die!"  
  
ZELL  
"He reminds me of me..."  
  
SQUALL  
"Okay, I give everyone permission to KICK HIS ASS!"  
  
Squall, Zell and Irvine all advance on Zidane.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Crap! This is bad! I better scramble!"  
  
He runs off with Squall, Zell and Irvine in pursuit.  
  
EXT. ALCAULD PLAINS - DAY  
  
Zidane runs through the countryside and jumps back into the vortex. It disappears before Squall and friends can reach it.  
  
SQUALL  
"The bastard got away!"  
  
ZELL  
"Squall, calm down, alright? You're behavin' extremely out of character!"  
  
SQUALL  
"...Whatever."  
  
INT. VORTEX - DAY  
  
Zidane is travelling through time and space again.  
  
INT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - DAY  
  
The vortex opens up and dumps Zidane back in the castle basement.  
  
ZIDANE  
(Rubbing his head)  
"Ow, what a ride!"  
  
DAGGER (O.S)  
"Zidane, there you are!"  
  
DAGGER walks into the room.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Uh, hi, babe."  
  
DAGGER  
"Where've you been? I was worried sick!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"N-Nowhere. I've been here all the time."  
  
DAGGER  
"Well how come I couldn't find you?"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Uh..."  
  
DAGGER  
"Now stop fooling around and come and help me draw Mother a bath."  
  
Dagger walks off.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Not on your life, sister!"  
  
He turns around and attempts to jump back through the vortex, but it has disappeared and he lands on the hard floor instead.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Ow! Oh, my head!"  
  
INT. ALEXANDRIA CASTLE - AFTERNOON  
  
Zidane walks into the dinning room. Dagger, STEINER AND VIVI are all there.  
  
DAGGER  
"Zidane, what has gotten into you today?"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Nothin'..."  
  
STEINER  
"There's definitely something wrong, Princess."  
  
ZIDANE  
"Can it, Rusty!"  
  
STEINER  
"I beg your pardon?!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"You heard me!"  
  
STEINER  
"I'll teach you a lesson!"  
  
DAGGER  
"Stop it, both of you! Just grow up!"  
  
Zidane and Steiner both back down.  
  
DAGGER  
"Nevermind, Zidane. I'll give Mother a bath by myself."  
  
She leaves the room.  
  
STEINER  
(To Zidane)  
"Now look what you've done!"  
  
Steiner leaves the room. Zidane sits at the table with Vivi.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Vivi, can I ask you something?"  
  
VIVI  
"Y-You're not gonna go crazy on me aswell, are you?"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Don't be stupid. I wanna talk to you about time travel. Do you know anything about it?"  
  
VIVI  
"Z-Zidane, you misunderstand. I'm a black mage, alright? I'm not a scientist."  
  
ZIDANE  
"Oh, yeah..."  
  
Suddenly, the vortex from earlier opens up above the two friends.  
  
VIVI  
"Oh, my! W-What is that thing?!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"It's the time-travelling vortex! Come on, Vivi!"  
  
VIVI  
"W-What?!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Let's go!"  
  
Zidane grabs Vivi by the arm and drags him into the vortex.  
  
INT. VORTEX - AFTERNOON  
  
Both Zidane and Vivi are sucked through time.  
  
VIVI  
"W-Where the heck is this taking us?!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"J-Just hold on to me! D-Don't let go!"  
  
EXT. ALCAULD PLAINS - AFTERNOON  
  
The vortex opens and Zidane and Vivi shoot out. They land on the ground.  
  
VIVI  
(Getting up)  
"P-Phew... Still alive..."  
  
ZIDANE  
(Getting up)  
"Alright! We're back here! Time to get me some hot lovin'!"  
  
VIVI  
"H-Hot loving...?"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Oh, yeah! There were these really hot chicks here, and I just know they wanted me bad!"  
  
VIVI  
"Zidane, you already have a girlfriend, remember? What about the princess?"  
  
ZIDANE  
"B-But these babes were SO hot! What Dagger doesn't know, can't hurt her!"  
  
VIVI  
"A-Are you considering cheating on the princess?!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"It wouldn't be cheatin', Vivi. I mean, we're not even in our own time period. I think we're in the future, although I'm not completely sure."  
  
VIVI  
"Wow! Look at that building over there! It's huge!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"The really hot women are in there! C'mon!"  
  
Zidane runs off towards Balamb Garden. Vivi reluctantly follows.  
  
INT. BALAMB GARDEN - AFTERNOON  
  
Rinoa and Selphie are talking in the Main Hall.  
  
SELPHIE  
"So, anyway, Irvine is always bugging me to go out with him. What should I do, Rinoa?"  
  
RINOA  
"Why don't you give him a chance? You might like it."  
  
SELPHIE  
"Like what?"  
  
RINOA  
"You know... it."  
  
SELPHIE  
"...It?"  
  
RINOA  
(Sigh)  
"Selphie, let me explain. Y'see, when a man loves a woman, and a woman loves a man, they might decide to cement their love by having se-"  
  
ZIDANE  
(Interrupting)  
"Well, well, well! We meet again!"  
  
SELPHIE  
"Lookie, Rinoa! It's the funny guy with the tail!"  
  
RINOA  
"Yeah, and he has a cute little black mage with him! Oh, how sweet!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Huh?!"  
  
VIVI  
(To Zidane)  
"I dunno!"  
  
Rinoa and Selphie run over to Vivi and cuddle him like a stuffed toy.  
  
RINOA  
"Oooh, I love him!"  
  
SELPHIE  
"Me too! Aw, how soft!"  
  
They begin to tickle Vivi. He laughs.  
  
VIVI  
(Innocently)  
"Stop it! Hehehehe! Stop it!"  
  
RINOA  
(To Selphie)  
"Aw, isn't he just so cute?!"  
  
SELPHIE  
"Yeah! Let's bring him back to our dorm and shower him with attention!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"WHAT?!"  
  
VIVI  
"WHAT?!"  
  
RINOA  
"Come on, sweetie!"  
  
Rinoa and Selphie take Vivi down the corridor.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Hey, hey! Come back!"  
  
VIVI (O.S)  
"Zidane, help me!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Oh my God! They've got Vivi! You bastards!"  
  
VIVI (O.S)  
"No! No! Not the make-up kit! Anything but the make-up kit!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"I gotta save him!"  
  
SQUALL (O.S)  
"Not so fast!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"What the...?"  
  
Zidane turns around to see Squall, Zell and Irvine stood behind him.  
  
ZELL  
"Come crawlin' back, eh?"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Not quiet."  
  
SQUALL  
"Silence! You made a BIG mistake coming back here, pal!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Look, uh, about earlier... I'm sorry."  
  
IRVINE  
"That ain't good enough, buddy. We've gotta kick your ass before we can feel better."  
  
ZIDANE  
"B-But you can't kick my ass! It isn't fair!"  
  
SQUALL  
"Life isn't fair, kiddo! Get used to it!"  
  
ZIDANE  
(Gulp)  
"So, you're gonna kill me?!"  
  
SQUALL/ZELL/IRVINE  
"Uh-huh!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Can I use the bathroom first?"  
  
SQUALL  
"...Okay, but be quick."  
  
Zidane runs off.  
  
EXT. ALCAULD PLAINS - AFTERNOON  
  
Zidane is wandering through the countryside.  
  
ZIDANE  
(To himself)  
"Oh, man! What am I gonna do?! Vivi's been kidnapped by those evil, but really sexually attractive women, and I can't go back otherwise I'll get my butt whipped by those damn stuck-up assholes! What to do? What to do?"  
  
DAGGER (O.S)  
"Zidane, Zidane, where are you?!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Dagger?!"  
  
DAGGER (O.S)  
"Zidane, where are you? And what is this vortex doing here?!"  
  
Zidane looks up at the swirly vortex, which has now gotten smaller.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Dagger, I'm on the other side of the vortex! I'm in another world!"  
  
DAGGER (O.S)  
"Another world?! Well, you can just march your butt back here to the real world right now!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"B-But..."  
  
DAGGER (O.S)  
(Angry)  
"But what?!"  
  
ZIDANE  
(To himself)  
"Damn, I'm gonna haveta go back. I'm gonna haveta forget about Vivi and leave with my own life."  
  
DAGGER (O.S)  
"Zidane, the vortex is closing!"  
  
ZIDANE  
"Huh?!"  
  
Zidane looks up at the vortex again. It is shrinking.  
  
ZIDANE  
"Crap! Uh, sorry, Vivi! But I gotta think about my own safety!"  
  
He jumps into the vortex, but a strong hand grips onto his tail and pulls him back. The vortex closes.  
  
ZIDANE  
"No!"  
  
SQUALL (O.S)  
"Yes... Hahahaha!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
THE END  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


End file.
